Channel Mike

This is a recent email support conversation with Sprint. I understand that this isn't a huge deal. My question isn't terribly important. But the dialog really speaks for itself, here, so I'll hold my rant until the end.

My initial question (header and formatting courtesy of Sprint):

========================================================================
> > Name: Mike Schmidt
> > Form: Ask A Question Learn OR Feedback and Suggestions - Learn
> > Topic: Tech Support
> > Contact Number: XXX-XXX-XXXX
> >
========================================================================
> > Original Question: upgrade blackberry curve 8330 OS
> > Question: I would really like to upgrade my blackberry curve 8330 OS to
> > version 4.5 to utilize some features in software I use. Can you tell me
> > when I can expect this? Will it cause problems if I just use Verizon's
> > 4.5 OS for the same phone on my Sprint phone?
> >
========================================================================


Sprint Response #1:

> > Dear Mr. Schmidt,
> >
> > Thank you for contacting Sprint. I am glad to assist you about the
> > software for your handset.
> >
> > I need to validate you as the account holder before providing any
> > account information. This is being done to maintain security and to
> > prevent any unauthorized access.
> >
> > Please reply back to me with the answer for the following Security
> > question assigned to your account :
> >
> > Street you grew up on?
> >
> > The answer from your side will enable me to access your account and to
> > provide you the account information.
> >
> > Thank you again for contacting Sprint. We appreciate your business.
> >
> > Sincerely,
> > Gloria D.
> > Customer Service Specialist
> > Sprint
> >

Me again:

That has to be the least helpful response I've ever received.

I'm not asking for any account information. I'm asking for information
that ought to be publicly available and posted on your website for the
world to see. If it was there, I wouldn't have initiated this
conversation. The only thing you need to know about my account is that
I'm using a Blackberry Curve 8330.

Can you provide me with an expected date of availability for the
Blackberry OS version 4.5 for the Blackberry Curve 8330 or not? Verizon
already has it available. Alltel has it available. You don't. All I want

is an expected date. Do I even have to be a customer for that
information? Really?

Sorry for the attitude. I just expected more than a deflection on such a
simple request.

Thanks,
Mike Schmidt

Sprint's final response:

Dear Mr. Schmidt,

Thank you for replying. I understand your inquiry about the Blackberry
OS version 4.5.

Currently, we are not offering the Blackberry OS version 4.5 for the
Blackberry Curve 8330. Whenever, this Operating System version will be
launched it will be publicly available and posted on your website.

I appreciate your understanding in this matter.

Thank you for writing in to us today. We appreciate your business.

Sincerely,
Mia G.
Customer Service Specialist
Sprint

Do you think they train their employees to think or read? Maybe they just name the threads in their software rather than hiring real people. Still, after two responses, have not answered my question. They seem so trained to bloviate about how much they appreciate my business and appreciate my understanding and appreciate my contacting them that they've forgotten why they're there.

As a show of goodwill, and as a help to Sprint's training team, I'd like to suggest three appropriate and helpful e-mails that would have successfully answered my question.

1. Adequate, does not alleviate frustration with the company's decisions, but prevents additional frustration with the support group
   
Mr. Schmidt,
As you've noticed, we have not yet released version 4.5 of your phone's OS. We are focusing our resources on newer phones and don't have any plans of upgrading your phone. Sorry for the bad news.

2. or this one, good support
   
Mr. Schmidt,
As you've noticed, we have not yet released version 4.5 of your phone's OS. We are working on that, but haven't yet finished a release for the public and we don't know when it will be finished. Thanks for your patience.

3. or the best, exceeding expectations
   
Mr. Schmidt,
As you've noticed, we have not yet released version 4.5 of your phone's OS. But we're embarrassed that Verizon and Alltel have both beaten us to market with this upgrade. We're working hard to catch up and make sure it never happens again. We expect to release our version of this OS on [some date here]. If you would like to take the risk, you can find the development build at [insert link here]. Your other option is just to download Verizon's build, it [will or will not] work with our network, but it will not have SprintTV or any of the other proprietary packages we provide. If you choose not to wait for the public release, please let us know how it goes so we can use that information to better inform our other customers.


Dear Sprint, Nobody believes your fake concern!! Not only that, we don't even expect you to be concerned. Most of us expect some courtesy and respect, but that's shown by your level of service, not your use of the word "appreciate." We know that you are a business, not a charity. Don't thank me for calling/writing. Tell me what I need to know so that I don't have to reply. Get me the hell out of your hair. That would be a win/win. Just answer your customers' questions!! SHOW me you care enough to keep my patronage, don't tell me!! Telling me about your concern without showing it is offensive and disrespects my intelligence. I can see already that other companies are providing better support for their customers' phones. Tell me that you realize that. Tell me that it bothers you. Tell me that you want to keep customers with more than a damn two-year commitment. Unless, of course, you're only planning on keeping us for two years. In that case, you've done your job beautifully.

End rant.